czwartek, 18 września 2014


                 If you think that you can prepare for something like that you are wrong. It’s not possible. Death is constantly present, in every second but after a while you can’t stand it anymore. The anticipation kills you slowly and after a while you snap. It’s too much for your brain I think and it tries to protect itself from the stress. And after a while you somehow, but not completely of course, forget about the death date. The time goes on slowly but surely and despite anything it passes. You can’t stop it. It want sit with you and wait till it’s over. Days bring new things, new challenges and you have to deal with them. And soon your mind tired and looking for some distraction finds other things to think about. And you start to plan days or weeks, holidays, visits of friends. Who knows, maybe he’ll live till Christmas, so you should buy presents, maybe next birthday he’ll be fine to, maybe you should organise a party. And you start to think that this will never end. That he will never die. And when the day comes you are expecting it and it hits you so hard it lives you breathless. You are not prepared for that though you had so much time. And you’re exhausted and you don’t even know how to grief. You don’t want to. So you tell me what’s better because the outcome is always the same. You’re broken and half dead because the person takes a piece of you when leaving.

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